Speak My (Love) Language!
Relationships are wonderful – from friendships to family to the one you love, relationships keep us going and give our lives shape and meaning. Sometimes we can get a little too comfortable in our relationships, and we stop really looking at the other person. Sometimes we forget how to best care for the other people in our lives, so here’s a primer on how to show your love in the ways that resonate most with those you care about most.
Do you know about the Five Love Languages? They were developed by Gary Chapman, who says that everyone has “a primary love language which speaks more deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage.”
At Common Thought, we’re big fans of the Love Languages. Here they are, along with examples of ways to speak your partner’s language:
l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The flies were going to carry it out for you.”
2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”
3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.
4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention. Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and listening.
5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.
Take the quiz here to learn your primary Love Language: https://www.5lovelanguages.com (it’s also where we got the definitions above, and has lots of great info), and encourage those you love to do the same. Share what you learn with each other. You could write the family’s love languages down and post it on the fridge or beside the bathroom mirror as a daily reminder of how you can best shower them with love!